Free yourself with forgiveness

Forgiveness is the ultimate gift that keeps on giving and it is a gift that you can only give to yourself.
I had a great lesson in forgiveness, but it took many years for me to see and appreciate it for what it was.
When I was 13 my Dad said something to me that hurt me deeply. It became a treasured stone in the rucksack of life. One which I would take out regularly, polish and replay over and over again, every time re-creating all the hurt and sadness. I held it as a hard bitterness in my life. When I was introduced to this concept of forgiveness I found this the hardest one to handle, but I got there eventually and was able to drop the stone and finally set myself free.
Almost 27 years after the event I finally asked my father about it. Much to my astonishment he didn't even remember saying the words. I had created a story about what it meant about me and what a bad person he was and how that 'made' me as an adult, it was all in my head. It had no effect in my Dad's life. For him it was a moments frustration with a teenager he couldn't control.
I know that many people have much bigger and more traumatic events in their lives. I have worked with many adults who have experienced abuse as children or have been raped in their younger lives. It may seem like this is a step too far. That forgiving the other person would somehow make their actions okay. It's not about the perpetrator, no matter how heinous the crime. Just like me and my Father, the only person who is suffering from the thoughts, feelings and beliefs in your mind is you. You have the choice about setting down the stone or continuing to carry it like a mill stone around your neck.
I have found that willingness goes a long way when it come to forgiveness.
Think of a small unforgiveness you may have. Don't go straight in for the big one, you want to mark up some victories in the process before you go head to head. Get a clear picture of the person or situation in your head and then say, "I forgive you and I set myself free."You'll know if this feels genuine when you say it or not. If you can't get to the place where you can be authentic in your forgiveness, add in 'willing'. "I am willing to forgive you and set myself free." If it feels like it still may be a stretch, add in enough willings to bring it into alignment. "I am willing to be willing to be willing to forgive you and set myself free." You get the idea. Being willing gives the universal intelligent the tiny gap it needs to go to work on your behalf. This will open the door and providing you stick with the practice you will start to see and feel shifts happening in your life.

Today I forgive first. I release any hurts or anguish easily and free myself in the process. I am always at choice about how I react and respond to every word, deed or perceived misdemeanour. I choose to be free.
In Love J x